Self-Esteem & Leadership without title

How do you respond to situations? I just finished a coaching session with a wonderful girl, who is a receptionist in a hotel in London. She is very loved and adored by customers. Recently, a customer embraced her, telling her: “You are the best receptionist in the world and I travel all around the world!” Wow, what a fantastic compliment!

Anyway, this wonderful receptionist, who delivers excellence in doing her job, felt very bad because of some words spoken from her boss, recently. Her manager told her to go back to her working place, being nice and doing her job. She started questioning about herself, if she really delivers excellence and so on. Her self-esteem was down and down. Today, she told me she would like to change her job, but she can’t find another one and she feels “powerless”.

What I started to tell her is that it is important how we respond to situations and not the situation itself. The words spoken from the manager hurt her very deeply; although she knows her value and that she delivers excellence to customers. What does it happen in these cases? Every time, we feel hurt from some others’ words, questioning about ourselves, with a consequent loss of self-esteem, we have to take our responsibility of our feelings. It is our decision to feel bad, it is the decision we take about the reaction we have. In that moment and this way, we decide to give our power away. Yes, we give our power away!

The most important person, who has to know your value, is yourself. Why? Because in your life, you can find, on your path, people who can have self-esteem issues, trying to put you down (it’s their favourite game! Only, this way, they feel stronger!). Don’t give your power away, please! Of course, every one of us can improve the performance in any kind of role; no limit, but at the same time, don’t lose your self-confidence, because everything starts from there in life, in any area of your life.

Don’t take personally what others tell you, try to understand if someone is talking to you in a certain way because he/she feels anger or frustration or she/he is under pressure. At the same time, be strong and if someone is not dealing with you with respect, exact respect and be respectful, at the same time. Don’t give your permission to people to deal with you without respect. Be still about that!

Self-esteem is the first brick to put at your base – one of my favourite quotes. Feel to be a leader whatever you do. It’s not important what you do, but how you are doing it. Are you delivering excellence to your customers? (Any role you play in this life. Even if you are a mum/dad…your “customers” are your husband/wife, children…). Self-esteem is a daily inside job and leadership, too. Leadership starts from your mind, heart and then actions. It’s about how much passion you have in your belly in doing what you do. And if you don’t like what you do, stop complaining and act to find what you like, to pursue your dream. Being bold!

Today, I had a powerful chat with one of my cousins and he told me: “I learnt that to have success in life you need two things: courage and respect. You need to take risks and only the experience will give you the answer you are looking for in taking a decision. Then, you have to be respectful in front of everyone!” Wise words!

Be the CEO of your area, whatever job you do or role you play. Do you think you need titles and money to be a leader, to have an impact on others’ lives? Change these limitative and false beliefs, if you have them, please! What about Mother Teresa and Gandhi? Not very tall, not riches (her best richness was inside them!), but at the same time with an incredible inner strength, with a will of iron towards their goals, expressing their talents and potential, their True Self (they expressed the God/Divinity they had in their within! Like every one of us should do it!). You can follow their example, because they are great examples. Feel inspired from them and emulate their best practises: be loving, caring and be still in your great values. Deliver not less than excellence, have faith 100% in yourself and don’t forget how power-full you are and that you can everything…only if you decide it!

Linda Lattuca